52 shades of white

True fact number 1: We used to live in Sydney, Australia.

True fact number 2: Selling houses in Sydney is not for the faint of heart.

Once the decision is made, it's not as easy as getting an estate agent, plonking a sign outside and picking your underwear off the floor. 

It involves 'staging' or 'dressing' your house, with no evidence of anybody living there. 

To embark on this journey, a fair few things have to happen. 

Rooms have to be cleared of all clutter and all personality. The garden has to look like a Chelsea Flower Show designer just left. And the interior has to be freshly painted. No sign of decades-old magnolia here.

We decided that white was the way to go as it's personality-free and the walls were sort of white already. Quick and easy. Or so I thought. 

I was aware that there was a fine selection of whites on the market. I thought somewhere around 20. There was actually 52 - ranging from a hideous yellow invoking images of smokers' teeth, grey, blue, pink, lilac, and orange whites, all the way through to white-on-white. Which if you're painting a gallery space is the one to go for, apparently.

For some bonkers reason, white-on-white was our choice. 

We dragged the two 50-litre tubs to the mixing desk. After a tense wait, it squirted in the colours. The first one that went in was blue. BLUE. 

I knew right then that this was a huge mistake, but once mixed, it's yours. In the spirit of not wasting money, we took the paint home and got to work. 

It came out grey and cold. It felt like we were living inside an iceberg. We waited a couple of days to see if the iceberg effect was reduced. I'd read somewhere that as the paint dries it can sometimes change colour. It did. To a cold grey-on-white-on-grey.

The next weekend, we traipsed back to the store and bought more white paint, this time one that required no mixing. To make the repainting of the walls even more enjoyable, Sydney decided to crack out a 40 degree day with humidity that made the paint turn to cream cheese. We downed tools and went to the pub. 

The moral of this sad tale is this: buy a sample pot of the colour that you want. Paint a square metre in every room to be painted. Wait. If you like it, great; if you don't, then choose again. 

It will save you money, your sense of humour and your sanity.

Not bad for a tiny pot of paint.

Photo by Anna Sullivan on Unsplash